Mommy Likes Ladies

Dear Poppy,

My relationship between my mom and I have gotten better since I came out. Right now I even think of myself as the "the favorite son". But ever since then I'm beginning to feel awkward about her interest in women. She says things like "she's so cute" or I even catch her looking at women's tits. Is my mom a lesbian or does she think that since I'm gay that it's okay for her to be gay too? I don't know if I'd be able to handle that well.

Fruit of Her Loins


Dear ACTUAL Fruit of Her Loins,

Awww you're so adorable. So dear mother's checks out women and looks at the devil's dumblings, bazoombas, the milkshakes--you get my point. And you’re a little disheartened by that. So what? Gay Henchman and I check out women a lot. He not only perpetuates the gay stereotype by not only naming each brand but also each shade of color, but he also makes a quick assessment on her tit, ass, and legs. He reviews it like every other man planning to mate. And like every other man out there, her appearance is all he keeps on checking out. But is that enough to make denounce his love for men? No of course not.

So what if mommy is a lesbian? She can be used as evidence that gay is genetic. How is she any different from being a person? Did she give you trouble when you came out to her? If anything like you said the bonds between you two got stronger. You're not only slightly being hypocritical, but you're kinda setting the gay rights movement back a few decades by not acknowledging your mom's lesbian curiosities. She probably didn't have the luxury that you did to open up to her true feelings at a younger age. I mean being a lesbian can't be (and it isn't) wrong. After all you are gay so the moral issues isn't the case. Do you think that she might be stealing your spotlight, you diva?

If that is of course she is a budding lesbian.

Okay to explore the other side of the gamut, what if it was just an expression of accepting you? Although personally I doubt that, you do have the power to vocalize that. But don't go hurting your mother's feelings by saying "ew stop checking out girls, it's disgusting". She's human too. Put her in your position: how would you feel if someone was uncomfortable by the way you act? Not very good about yourself, huh? It seems though that you're not even sure what she's doing. Start with that. Be sneaky. Ask if momma likes what she sees. If she likes a lady's shoes or the brand of stockings, fabulous! If she likes to see those legs wrapped around her, fabulous! (Although I probably don't think you'd want a mental picture of that seeing that she's your mother). When (or if she ever, but I also doubt that) describes her affections for a woman, then be subtle: change the subject. She's a living breathing, human being capable of mating (just like you). It's not like she entangles you in the imagery of her actions.

You know you can't change these things. You'll still love your mother whatever she is.

Sincerely,
Poppy CU Montage


GIVE ME MORE WORK PLEASE!
(by responding or commenting):
Poppy_Montage@yahoo.com

A "New" Segment I like to call...

What You Should Do Today (or apply at least):

It’s a new segment. Well actually it’s not so much new considering I’ve been doing a similar thing to people for as long as I can remember. The only reason why it’s considered a “new segment” is because a formal name has been given to it. That and I am bossy by nature anyway. Go figure.
Anyway too often do I find people saying things that they don’t mean. Yours truly is guilty of this sin, having to say many things only to find at the end of the day I didn’t really mean it. Such frivolous things like “are you okay?” or “I love you”….

Is it because we’re too involved in our own lives that we evolved to no longer care for others around us (may they be significant or not)? Or is it that we do not have not enough time in our daily lives.

I try to care when people try to answer my question, “how are you”/”how was your day”. You can actually see it in people’s eyes when they hear those words. A slight cringe in the subtle regions of their face, the feel of dread gurgling inside of them, or perhaps a internal bound for joy and enlightenment—but all must be caged and restrained. Is it the fear of public chastisement that keeps them grounded? Not exactly, it’s because it’s embedded in their heads that the other party doesn’t want to hear about it anyway.

So instead of a novel of an answer, they briefly spit out a one worded response. “Good” or “okay” and then return the question as a sign of courtesy (some people don’t even have this gift, those bastards).

And I hate that.

Poppy Montage is SO INVOLVED with the people around him… that it’s bordering burglary. Give me substance. Let me wallow in your vanity too! Believe me, I have ALL the time in the world.

So for this “new” segment, I suggest that my lovelies should try something quite interesting: actually request more information after asking “how are you.” Go ahead: reject one word answers and snoop. Yes some people might find that alienating, but don’t be discouraged. Ask why someone is feeling “just” okay. You may not be able to do something about it, but in actuality you did: you went the extra mile to try to be more involved in their lives. (And EVERYONE likes their horn to be tooted, even if it’s in mezzo-piano).
Heck, even if they’re having a good day you should even ask. That way you could share that happy feeling… or be jealous of it. But Momma Montage doesn’t really encourage that. But you’d be surprise with what you’ll get from just listening from others. The first time I did that I learned how to get a discount on electronics AND a free meal from one of the most distinguished restaurants in Los Angeles (it just so happens that this reluctant stranger was the owner).
But don’t expect free stuff all the time, darlings. It’s about giving, not getting! Besides, there’s a consolation prize: that small feeling that you’ve made an insignificant impact in someone’s life… the keyword being impact.
;-)

Until next time,
Poppy C.U. Montage.

The Poppy Grows...

So I moved. Why? Well I'm slowly climbing up the blogging world. Oh what a despicable ladder I have to climb.

Email stays the same though, so you can still email me there: Poppy_Montage@yahoo.com with your ideas and questions.