Love in a Time of Hysteria

Dear Poppy,

I'm 44 and I broke it off with my spouse of 12 years. About 2 years have passed since our separation. We are in good terms but I don't want to die alone. Do you think there's hope for me at my age?

Sincerely
Lonesome Dove


Dear Lonesome Dove

I would tell you no, that you'll die old, wrinkly, and alone. But I was just listening to Regina Spektor's "Ode to Divorce" and that slightly brought my mood to an optimistic level. Now would you help a brother out? I'm kidding of course if you didn't pick up on my sarcasm, love. Love at any age is possible. True story: my henchman's grandmother is actually being courted by a man right now; and let me tell you she's responding very well. Although many of us would prefer to be spared from when she shares to us how she dusted off the cobwebs and unleashed her animal naughtiness, we at least know "it" still works. Whatever you think "it" may be, but I was referring to the heart. And of course, we must not neglect nor deny "its" existence. Besides, a lot of old people are cranky and it could be that getting laid may plaster all those resenting years.

No, I am not calling you old, though. What I'm trying to say is that if his dear ol' nana can find someone, then of course you can find it. Be assertive! Go out and meet people. The chances of you finding someone at home and writing questions to an ambiguous blog-queen are ridiculously nonexistent. Yes I would agree you would endure a lot of heartbreaks, but fret not... as much! Yes it hurts to be led on or to find false hopes in someone you thought seemed promising. But it's what life is about, learning something applying what you learn and getting back onto the horse. And let me tell you something, darlin': once you find that special someone it'd be all the worthwhile.

But don't dismiss these three important facts as people so often do when they're looking for love:
1) You are capable of loving
1) You are loved (may it be family, friends, pets, or that stalker--like that bug-eyed guy who seems to always be looking into my window and leaves me chocolates on my doorstep)
1) You are capable of being loved, see the latter.

If not you can always drown others around you in your misery such as your friends, those who work under you (isn't that right, henchman?), or some $250/hour therapist. Or perhaps you can drown yourself in something like a bathtub of gin, a bucket of something fried, or a box of something sweet. Kidding.

Until Next Time,
Poppy C U Montage